STUFF... LOTS OF IT!
Warning: This post has little to nothing to
do with anything either super or powerful.
Much to your chagrin, dear reader, I am back to post and you have nothing better to do than read the silly, little ramblings born of sophomoric arrogance and housed within the verbal walls of this, my virtual Empire. Luckily for both you and your boredom, I have other things to talk about besides me. Let us press on then for the benefit of the two to three people that regularly check this site, and report on all that I have experienced within the past few weeks. Why do this when it is clear that no one is truly concerned? Well, why climb a mountain? Why lie in a meadow? Why challenge five year old children to feats of physical strength, up to and including bare-knuckle boxing? Because I can, dear reader ... because I can.
Join me then as I recap the various $tevents of the near past.
1.) New Year's $teve Party - I'd like to thank everyone for coming out to the biggest, and most thinly-veiled excuse to consume alcohol of the year. Rife with beer swilling, the dulcet tones of Wham! and the wanton display of public nudity, which, not-surprisingly, goes well with the aforementioned musical selection, this was one party for the ages. Check out the pictures, if you so dare. You'll notice, after further inspection of said pictures, that I am wearing a certain shirt, emblazoned upon which is the insignia of the controversial Lebanese Islamic "group" Hezbollah. Aahhh, being offensive is a good thing... especially when you know that a Christian Lebanese girl will be present. I'm glad to report that I survived the night with only superficial puncture wounds. Oh, and as a special message to the NSA, who are no doubt monitoring me: "Hey there! Welcome to the site! No, I am not a member of Hezbollah. It's a joke, like your boss. Oh and while I have your attention, may I once again, but not so subtly intimate that you work for a fucking retard. You can tell him I said that. Thanks, and enjoy!"
2.) 8Deez Party - Jessica was kind enough to provide us with another opportunity for consumption by way of hosting an 80's party in honor of her birthday. Truly, fun was had by everyone ... who did not get a good, clear view of me in spandex... a glimpse that I will provide for you now:
Mmm, drink it in, everyone. It's like a fine wine for your soul, to be rolled around upon and enjoyed heartily by the wanting tongue of your mind. Please note how the reckless abandon of my moustache seamlessly intermingles with my obvious passion for Jazzercise. I defy you... that's right, I DEFY YOU... to find a physical specimen that more perfectly exemplifies both masculine machismo and a love for the color purple. To view this and other disturbing pictures of the evening, hit up Jessica's website. I guarantee you won't be disappointed. Well, maybe "guarantee" is too strong a word there.
3. Busboys, Poets and Debauchery - I know this sounds like utter nonsense, but it actually isn't. Katy and I went out to dinner with a couple of friends to a place in DC called Busboys and Poets. I am pleased to report that this (admittedly VERY leftist) restaurant/bookstore/small convention center/lecture studio gets two very enthusiastic thumbs up (great holiday fun). It is one of the few establishments that, to my knowledge, will prepare a rare hamburger. Not only was it juicy, bloody and potentially life-threatening, but crazy-delicious to boot! Not only is their food exquisite, but their prices are lower than president Bush's IQ (still with me NSA?)! Check out their website: http://www.busboysandpoets.com. After that dinning delight, we hopped on over to DC9 for a really great show by a little band called Dbauchery. I can't really explain them other than they're good ... really good. Check them out over at their MySpace site: http://www.myspace.com/dbauchery. Be prepared to have your pants impressed right off, mister! If your pants somehow remain, please let me know and I will attempt a deeper impression. If you live outside of my general vicinity, please simply refer to the picture posted above. Thank you.
4. Herald - This is actually a job posting. I'm looking for a herald to perform certain tasks for me including, but not limited to, the following: announcing my imminent arrival to any given populace, booking dinner engagements/public appearances/autograph sessions/pagan rituals/middle school speeches (etc.), spearheading movements to erect statues in my honor, letting me win at badminton and so on. Think The Silver Surfer, but with less "silver bodysuit/surfboard/cosmic power" and more "purple hot-pants/Fisher-Price roller-skates/potato gun." You'll also have to quickly arrive when I shout, "TO ME, MY HERALD!" which I will do repeatedly (up to 42 times) everyday. Any interested parties will please leave their name, email address and roller-skate size in the comment section of this blog.
5. Ariel Sharon - On a more serious note, there are some members of society (Restlessmania, I'm looking in your direction) that would like to recognize the current Prime Minister of Israel, Ariel Sharon, as a force of absolute good in the world. This is absolutely ri-godamn-diculous. This guy should NOT be remembered as some sort of saint, just because he might die soon. The bulk of his past is too mired in death and corruption to ignore, just because he's made some recent, questionable "strides for peace." He is accused of fucking Massacre during the Lebanese Civil War, for god's sake! Check out this article by fellow Israeli, Uri Avnery, about the man's supposed motivations throughout life and some interestingly presented reasons why he might have made these recent decisions on the side of peace (i.e., the Gaza pullout). I'm not saying the guy's legacy isn't without some legitimate merit, but let's not go nuts worshipping him either. His nation is just as guilty as Palestine for the crimes going on over there, and much of that falls on his shoulders. Readers should remember to differentiate between Ariel Sharon and Shenron, the wish-grating dragon, who can always be trusted to come through for peace. Thank you.
Okay, well I guess that's it for now. So until I have something terribly significant to say or am otherwise bored, be good, stay in school, treat your mamma right and hey, don't do crack- it kills your brains.
Love,
$teve-0
posted by $teve-0 at 7:06 AM
3 Comments:
You know, you're right about Sharon. And while I admire him for his warrior ethos, his cunning nature, and skills both as a soldier and leader, I can't say that he was a "peaceful" or even a particularly "good" person. But understand the position he was in and the life in which he grew up. As a young man he lived through the massacre know as the holocaust, only to grow up not in a stable Israel, but in a state constantly aggressed by Arabs. He fought three wars, and by all accounts fought bravely to secure his nation's interests. War is not pretty. If the massacres you refer to were the killings at Sabra and Shatila camps, indeed Sharon was indirectly responsible. The Phalange did the killings (a particularly ruthless group), but Sharon probably knew what would happen, if not in that severity. But the fighting between Israel and the Arabs became tit for tat. A spiral that has lead us to the place we are today. Sharon, in his old age, recognized that there is no future for Israel in the Gaza strip and most of the West Bank; maybe not because he felt it was time for peace but rather because he realized eventually Palestinians will outnumber Jews, making them a minority in their own country. And certainly who (in their eyes) wants a country that is tainted with Palestinians. The end result will be the same however, which is a modified peace, a concession if you will. But remember that the Palestinian Authority has all but dissolved, and Gaza is a failed state. Without a unified front from the Palestinians, the "Roadmap" will not move forward. And now with Sharon gone, that result may be a forgone conclusion. Now mix in current threats by Iran for Israelis extermination and their babblings in uranium enrichment, and you put the Jews back on the offensive. I guess Sharon's lasting legacy will be his decisiveness and ability to move forward (indeed that's why his party was called Kadima). We can only hope the power vacuum is filled by someone as decisive, but with a more tempered hand.
I definitely agree that the man was cunning, that's for damn sure. But calling him "brave" might be going above and beyond there. Maybe if by brave you mean foolhardy and impetuous with a dash of courage, then yes!
He was often reprimanded by his superiors for going against orders, which often resulted in the pointless loss of life of both Israelis and Palestinians. I guess that's brave-ish. Newsweek has a great timeline of events detailing his life. It has an admittedly pro-Sharon tilt, but it's worth a read.
The Sabra/Shatila massacre may have been indirectly attributed to Sharon, but it was nevertheless a result of his impetuousness, as he went against the Israeli government and ordered those troops into Western Beirut. That's decisive, yes, but negatively so.
I agree that both Arab and Jewish aggressions are to blame for the bullshit going on over there, but one has to understand that it was Israel's placement by Britain on top of Palestine, and their subsequent domination of that area (enforced by the West), that gave cause to aggression by the Arab world, including factions in Lebanon, not to mention Syria and Iran (someone seriously needs to slap the shit out of Ahmadinejad), as entire nations.
Wow, that was a HUGE run-on sentence, I apologize gods of Grammar.
And fine, Palestinian authority has been diminished, but that's in large part due to the dictates of Sharon and the Israeli government. His "concessions for peace" have contributed the destabilizing of Palestinian governance. The West Bank continues to see a greater Israeli influx due to the Gaza pullout, which undermines any possibility of Palestinian unity there. As you said, Gaza is a failure, and is thus a small concession by Sharon, at best. Israel was simply finished there and had nothing else to gain, but they made it look like they were the only ones suffering, and thus got pity from the world.
Sharon's legacy should be multi-faceted, and should include his decisiveness, but also his impetuousness; not only his concessions for peace, but also his unforgivable acts of war. His entire life should be remembered, the good with the downright evil.
Along with reading that Avnery article in the original post, also check out one by him called "Pity the Orphan," which is pretty interesting - it talks about Hamas as a possible Palestinian Parliamentary player (whoa - say that 5 times fast)as well as more about Sharon. I can't find it now, but I'll post it when I do.
"Along with reading that Avnery article in the original post, also check out one by him called "Pity the Orphan," which is pretty interesting - it talks about Hamas as a possible Palestinian Parliamentary player"
Say it ain't so.
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