Happy Holideez

I can't decide if this dude looks evil or gay.

First off, Happy Paughlidays everyone! More specifically, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza and Happy Hannu ... Haunukh ... Chanukk ... you know- the one for you Jewish types with the candles and dradles and such. Crazy Jews. Anyway, this is the time to celebrate the great blessings in our life like family, friends and of course, the birth of our lord and savior ... Ron Foos of Paul Revere and The Raiders. I hope that everyone out there has a happy and healthy holiday season and that you all get really drunk during Christmas dinner with your family and make complete asses of yourselves. A true celebrateur can ask for no less.

Speaking of asking for stuff, there is plenty of stuff out there tht I want... besides that elusive cure for mild retardation. So grab a pen whilst I deliver unto you another list; hey, I lack imagination and fear change, what do you want? I like to call this list ...

The "ANOTHER ONE OF MY LISTS" List (or, stuff that I want and/or think is funny)

1. The Fearless Griggs Graphic Novel - Repeated nods to Mr. Miguel on this one. This thing looks awesome, if for nothing else than this. It's times like this that I long for my old "A #1 Dad" shirt.

2. Hug Me Pillow - Sometimes, I just like to be held is all. Is that a crime? No, but anyone who actually buys this thing should be beaten down by the LAPD, that's for god-damn sure. Or at very least given a hug. One of the two, defintiely. I enjoy the fact that the thing has a shirt and a hand. Luckily, I'll never need this thing because I have a trunk full of severed torsos ... GIRLFRIEND ... I mean, because I have a girlfriend. Whew, almost didn't recover from that one. Luckily, everyone who reads this is retarded.

3. V for Vendetta - One of the coolest, hardest-to-get-through-yet-at-the-end-worth-it grovels I've ever read is now going to be a movie with Hugo Weaving as the title role. Sweet. Originally written by the legendary Alan Moore (of Watchmen fame) and produced by the Wachowski brothers, this little gem is going to be something special and frighteningly pertinent in today's world of the fear of terrorism - complete with an administration, which is equally retarded as it is fascist!

4. Mjolnir w/ Helmet - What says "Kick My Ass ... FAST!" better than a replica of Thor's legendary warhammer (not to be confused with his warhummer-- very different), Mjolnir and his wing-ed helmet. You too can pretend to call down thunder and lightning on your imaginary friends ... you know, the ones that you have to pay in dream dollars to hang out with you. Or is that just me? The only thing going to be raining down on you/me is a bevvy of punches and kicks from the would-be defeated villains. Ah, but this is where the little plastic helmet comes in handy. ($teve-0 winks knowingly.)

5. And finally - This one's intangible, like love, equality or Ghost Dad. It's a concept. Look, I hate to be cheesy, but I'd like to see lasting peace between bitter enemies. Come on guys, enough is enough. Give peace a chance.

Well, that's it for now, kids. Enjoy the long weekend and/or extended break. And hey, be good to each other America.

Love,
$-O